Healthy Thinspo

So, I realize this is a trend of my posts, but only because it gets me so worked up. Every now and then I look at this new discovery, thinspo and starving tips, to remind myself I am a skinny dieter, but I am not starving and off the deep end. It can be hard for people to tell you you need to eat more, and begin to wonder if you're being anorexic, but when I look at these blogs, I sigh relief and realize I'm not at all. I will never cut out bacon, I won't skin my apples, I won't put skinny people pictures onto my credit cards, and I won't lie to everyone in my life about being hungry. I won't touch my ribs to make myself happy, and I won't replace my meals with cough drops, and I won't trick myself into thinking water is food. PEOPLE IS CRAZY!

So, for all the girls in the world that just want to be healthier in size, or just want a pouch to go away, but all you can find are unrealistic pictures on thinspo, obviously mentally ill motivational quotes, and "Starving tips of the day!" I am going to make this a forever post with thinspiration tips that AREN'T ABOUT TRICKING YOUR BODY. I won't tell you to detox or take vitamins in place of food. That's unhealthy.

So, here are some helpful things to keep you away from the things that are obviously bad in life, or to give you a boost you just didn't know you were skipping out on.

Replacing the bad with equally satisfying indulgences: "There's an entire world of deliciously indulgent chocolatey caramelly surprise out there, totally guiltlessly."

1. Have a keurig. I'm not telling you thin is about consuming only black coffee, I'm telling you that k-cups come in delicious flavors that often quench my sweet tooth when I don't have any chocolate around the house- and that's a good thing if you're trying to avoid my third piece of cheesecake. They've got flavors to pinch that craving in a satisfying and not depriving way. Try German Chocolate Cake, or somehting that sounds like "Caramel Cream Cappucino with Sprinkles and Rainbows"! The more absurd it sounds, the more awesome the flavor truly is. Vanilla nut roast sounds boring, and tastes like coffee, and who craves coffee? I add low fat sugar-free french vanilla creamers if I think it's too blah with just splenda or natural vanilla.

2. Dessert jellos and yogurts available at the grocery did the science so you don't have to figure out how to make low calorie sugar-free taste good. This could range from whipped yogurt "chocolate mousse" to my personal favorite, caramel mousse jello (which sits at a tidy 60 calories.) Of course, there is a whole world out there of delcious wannabes that I'll eventually list, but another good one is "Trader Joe's low fat chocolate-flavoured cat cookies for people." At first you're like "eh" but after 5 you think you've been eating chocolate paste.

3. If sugar is the one thing that your body is susceptible to above all (like me), I present to you: sugar alcohols. I am blessed to not have intestinal reactions to high intake of sugar alcohols, because I love love LOVE sugar-free chocolates and sugar-free cupcakes, pies, etc. Some people get the runs. I would call that a love-hate bonus, because it's like getting a free laxative with the mint on your pillow... gross, but if you're trying to lose weight, I guess it probably doesn't hurt.

Get more active. I am the last person to tell anyone to be active, but I can tell you how to make it happen:

1. I started riding my bike because I was too lazy to walk all the way to campus. Too time consuming. I'd wait until the last possible moment and then ride. And it turned out the high bike seat targeted the areas of my legs running long distance never could. Get a bike, cut corners, and maybe you'll get lucky.

2. Eat protein in the morning. It'll get that metabolism going. I like to eat egg whites, or bacon, and then finish off with nuts. Why nuts?

3. Nuts, avocado, all those "good fats" are great for making you have energy, the kind of energy that makes you antsy to stop sitting on the couch. So put some in you and start aimlessly walking around the house, folding laundry and doing jumping jacks. A handful of nuts is a good limit though.

What to do when you just want to eat without rhyme or reason. I fall victim to just wanting to keep my mouth and hands and belly active, even if I have no cravings, and here are some things I eat:

1. Tea. I like tea because it sometimes has a hint of fruit (Constant Comment), and when I put splenda in it then it feels like I'm drinking orange slices candy or something. Also, sometimes there are teas like "hot apple cider" with the apple and cinnamon taste, but without the stuff that's in apple cider that's kind of horrible for you. Tea is something that is basically free, tastes yummy, you can make over and over again, makes you feel snuggly, and satisfies your hands, mouth, and belly while you're reading or watching tv or talking with friends.

2. Seaweed snacks- okay okay most people probably think this is gross, and I actually got into it because I was wrapping my own sushi and broken bits of paper appealed to my cat like you wouldn't believe, so I tried it. I liked it, but it definitely grows on you. Then I started trying seasoned sushi and it was all over- Trader Joe's Seaweed Crunchies are TO DIE FOR. They have more crap in them then plain seaweed, but frankly, not much. I think a whole package is like 95 calories or something. They're super light but very flavorful. If you go to an asian food store, you'll find an overwhelming array of (very cheap) packages of seaweed snacks in their own little snack packages. The thing I have now is basically a 6 month supply I got for under 4 dollars, there are 3-5 squares in each sealed packet, and about 600 packets. I think it was 5 packets to 20 calories or something silly.

3. Pickles. There is nothing in a pickle besides substance and flavor. Genius. I will eat them all.

4. Raw tomato sliced and lightly salted, or with basil and vinegar.

Boiling Water

I'll never forget that last morning at Moka.

We were down to rat poop rice and some cheese, though we were out of generator gas and water. We were going to make some tea. So we got a pot and went to the outdoor kitchen, and tried to start a fire. Oh man, did we try to start a fire. It was horrible. We were so bad at making a fire. Eventually a jaded 17 year old shooed us away and made the fire easily.

We filled our pot with water from the basins, and then Kelly shrieked. There were a half a dozen worms in the inch of water we put into the bottom of that pot. Our stomachs churned, and we dumped it out, then somehow found one last bottle of water nestled behind rotten plantains. We steadied the pot on the "tripod" of rocks over our little fire. We pourred in the water, and just like that...

the pot tipped over and the water put out that fire we tried to make all gd morning.


So we took the rest of the bottle of water, mixed it with instant coffee, and we sat there in the driveway, quietly. Along flew a bird, mere yards in front of us, that we had discovered was not yet identified as living on the island, but no one ever believed us when we said we saw it. Camera batteries were dead, and we sat there, sipping our coffee. Ain't that just the luck.

Black

Today, as I watched the Mad Men episode with the assassination of Kennedy, I realized something horrible: I think it would mean more to this country and truly stimulate enlightenment for us to lose our first black president, than it even did for him to be elected. Like Martin Luther King, Jr., is it possible more people listened and cared after he died? I wish I knew. And I wish I knew what it would mean in post-racial society.

Drexel Monies

Things I hate about Drexel:

-Exorbitant tuition
-Unbalanced distribution of funding from tuition
-Patrons that condition their funding to the already most prestigious programs
-How cold it is in the summer indoors
-How we beef up our appearance for orientation
-That we've been under construction since I came here
-How much they charge for things here on top of our grotesque tuition
-Over-the-top resource waste for celebrations (I loved inauguration week but I don't want to know how much those extremely reputable concert women cost alone, let alone the 3 floor catering and cocktails)
-Wasted print resources. Instead of making an orientation sign in poster print that says "Carrie Fischer", make one that says "Group 4" or that is orange, so it's reusable in the future. I beg you.

Things I love about Drexel:
-100% wind powered
-Removal of trays from the entrance of the dining hall, so people reconsider if they need one or not
-Sierra Club's realistic, non-extremist, understanding members, and their intiative success
--- 100% cage free eggs! I remember when we were campaigning for this!
-Our brilliant presidents, Papadak and John Fry. The shift from a president that focused on and succeeded in economic and development growth to establish renown for Drexel, to one focused on community relations and environmental values is beautiful, well-balanced, and not disappointing
-THE LINDY DONATION OF $15MILLION AND HIS CANDID HONESTY.
- Cultural passports. Are these available for purchase as upperclassmen? I think so.
-Nesbitt Gallery
-Everything Crete has done for Drexel. I think Freshman should receive a 7 minute briefing on what "akis" means on all of our buildings.
-12% international students
-Co-op (I do NOT love that you charge us the same amount of tuition when we're on co-op as you do when we're in classes, but if we rearrange when we'll be taking co-op vs classes then we're charged $7000/term. I want my $7000 back, I'd have a much better GPA and financial standing if you'd not stolen a term of tuition from me.)
-Classical studies
-Dancing electives (thank you for teaching me ballroom, and taking me back to Africa by bringing in an instructor from the community arts center on Lancaster.)
-Availability of cultural events and opportunities. I wish somewhere there was a collective calendar for non-culture studies students to become aware of these opportunities.
-Commuter programs. They're an amazing resource, and always embracing. Special support to the amazing Jessica.
-Miss Dottie and the asian woman whose english has improved over the past 4 years.

Remember when this photo hit the internet and guys salivated?

Keep this in mind for a little bit.

I don't know where it comes from. Maybe it's envy, maybe it's discomfort, maybe it's being surprised by what you see in photographs. But I think the base component is lack of control. It's so easy to feel like you don't have a grip, and when you're trying to keep the water in your hands and suddenly see something you don't want in that reflecting pool, it can happen. And it will never truly leave you.

I really think the pairing is key, because each will be a trigger for the end of time. Feeling out of control will subconsciously remind you you're not skinny enough, and not liking your body image will subconsciously inflict the pain of when you didn't have that control. Only when there's an equilibrium weight and steady control will the perpetuation lay dormant.

I say this because I am obsessed with anorexia stories and their candidness. There's a shame that everyone wants to share, to point out how horribly hard it was, not because they want to dwell on how dumb it may seem, but to explain how hard it was to escape to outsiders. They know it's unhealthy, they know it all... but it so quickly becomes so easy, and such an obsession, because of the utter control, and eventually they get lost in the worst part of it all: they have no control over their obsession beyond it's perpetuation. They're stuck, no matter how much they sneak to think they don't have to be. Not hungry, not tired- enthusiastic, beautiful.

I think the thoughts here often turn to victim, victim to oneself. And you cannot be saved without external force, but you feel so hushed, so silenced. When will someone notice, when will someone help, without being mean?

So I was watching all these youtube videos of girls sharing their pictures and their stories, their successes and their failures, but their hope. And one of them references "thinspo"... she became obsessed with thinspo and she spent all her time looking at it. I didn't know what this was so I googled it and it roughly means "thin-spiration." It's a subculture on the internet that shares pictures, tips, and quotes that keep them motivated in their goal for ultimate thinness. I have to say that they usually feature people that are TOO thin, not healthy-thin, which is negative even for obese women using "thinspiration" blogs to eat more healthy.

I'm a kind of "sick person" myself. I say this as someone now body conscious, but very aware of gross body skinny-ness. Once a sufferer of the short-term, I realized the unfortunate truth that anyone in the condition will never truly be free. But I find myself in a dormant state of peace, with mild agitation. I let the thoughts come but immediately confront them. It's sad, really... probably like having herpes. Even if you never get an outbreak again, every time you are interested in someone it will always be nagging in the back of your mind. And that's how I am, it's always there, daunting once a week or so, saying something like a twisted sister in my ear. It's easy for me to punch it in the face, though. I constantly put effort into coalescing how I see my body and how others do, and I think it's an important method in order to be mentally healthy.

So, understanding the "sick people," but identifying outside of them, I slipped myself into a few thinspo blogs to understand the mindset, but to critique it as a recovered person. And it was sickening. The things people say, I think that if someone stumbled upon thinspo that had never been in the condition, they'd think it was all a joke. Heck, even I thought it was a method of recovery at first, somberly noting the condition of so many wrecked women and girls. And then I realized, the ribs, the bones, the quotes... were all a means of motivating, forcing the obsession. It was like when a horror movie suddenly get sick, and there's that dark note when you realize everything is twisted. That's how my mind and stomach wretched when I realized the reality of thinspo.

So, that photo at the top of this entry... I didn't recognize one of those models when I saw that picture a while ago. Here the women are in another pose.


Recognize her yet? Nope, me neither, but she sure does look disgusting.

Oh, wait... it's Candice Swanepoel, the sweet blonde bombshell lingerie model with the curves that were always the most luscious of the pack.


Among other things thinspo offers are starving tips and praise for the skinniest icons. It makes me sad that this culture exists on the internet because it will cause so much relapse for the obsessive. I guess at the end of the day I have to respect that some people want what they want, I just have so much trouble believing they are happy at the end.

To end on a brighter note, This reminds me, also, that I saw something from Irish television called "Supersize vs. Superskinny," helping women through extreme eating habits in healthy ways. I love it. I recommend watching it for inspiration and feel-good effects of women coming out of a hard situation happy! :) My favorite is Charlotte and Heather so far. :)

My polka-dot dresses

I've been thinking about making a sub-blog, when I actually get back to blogging, featuring my black-and-white polka-dot finds.

I've felt a little guilty

lately because I bought a case of water like a month ago 60% off. I know I shouldn't be buying bottled water, but I got the mega eco bottles and it was meant to encourage me to drink more water BECAUSE I REALLY LIKE THAT PLASTIC TASTE. Tap water, brita, rain... you just don't got it.