Ghosts

I miss my ghost. Just thought you should know.
But on that topic, I've been confronting lots of unwanted ghosts lately. I've realized there are only two ways for me to ever find peace in a situation where I was wronged in love: 1. Have it made right, 2. Come to understand and love the women who really were not to blame.
I am trying.
Live and let live.

RACE TO THE POLYGLOT

Commence the Politzer/Elliott Race to the Polyglot. (I think I might have already lost.)

In better news, today I'm having a picnic, all homemade. :) There are spring rolls with peanut sauce, there's hummus, and there will soon be chicken barbecue. :)
In sadder news, it's raining. :(

I must confess to loving Lady Gaga's "Alejandro." It reminds me of the Ace of Base song "Don't Turn Around," and I can smell a lawsuit coming over that one. The video is a little crazy here, extremely suggestive, and very sexual. The haircut is unflattering, but she generally looks pretty normal? The men are nice to look at, too. Le sigh. Alejandro...



Puppy and I are packing because our life has taken another exciting twist. On Sunday we will be boarding a plane for Athens, with a layover in Zurich. We will live on the exotic Greek Isle of Crete for the summer, and it will be fabulous, with good company, good food, and good weather. :) I've been designing dresses for two weeks and tomorrow, they become reality.


Tomorrow, that dress will be mine :)

The ghost and I made a decision today.

"I got up and told him I'd made my decision, it would be better this way, and the silent ghost, for the first time, was the sound of a bad pull across a violin."



He's been around, muffled, but there was still something off, something muting that indicated he was there.

And then I set him free. I don't know if he was there immediately, or if he just took the time to breathe for a while.

But the next day, he was there, full throttle.
He's not a tricksie ghost like the ghost at the Ox, and you don't see him... you feel him. He emotional guides you. And he was there. And so rattled, I walked to class on the verge of tears just from sitting with him blankly mere moments. I was shaken at almost my worst, and I got into my classroom and thought "This is what people look like when people say 'You look like you've just seen a ghost.'" Because I had. And all I could do was take out a pen, and feverishly, I wrote this:

"I have a ghost. I don't know if he's in my house or just attached to me, but today, he's made it clear- I have a ghost.

It was like that part of Phantom of the opera, when they pull the cover off the chandelier and everything goes color as it lifts, cue that organ music... except it was the opposite- everything went sepia, still, silent.

When I first unknowingly unleashed him it wasn't this way- it was liberating, it was new life- it was something I couldn't quite put my finger on.

But now, it's impossible to not notice. It's a part of the room, a place, where everything goes muffled. Thoughts, emotions, real sound... all becomes gentle, calm, quiet when passed through this place. It's that day in elementary school when they hold a minute of silence in memory of Dr. Seuss... the first moment an innocent heart and mind ponders something both beautiful and sad, and above all, profound. Every time I pass through this place is that minute of silence.

I don't know for sure what this is about, but why would he silence me, and everything, unless there's something to hear, to feel? What does he want me to hear?"

So I decided he was trying to make me hear something, but what was I listening for? Was he going to tell me something? Was I missing something?

And then today, something happened. Something that had a consequence I need to deal with, and it's kind of a big deal, and a big decision, whichever way I want to go.

There is a huge amount of opportunity available, but it might seem unsavory? Rash? I wanted the opportunity so badly, I thought. The whole way home I made a list of pros and cons. And then, I walked in the door, set my bag on the couch, and promised him we'd talk about it, honestly, and all my feelings and all my doubts. I sat down and he held me.

Right, so I have to make a huge decision... and I did it in a 30 minute talk... with a ghost? My life is not average.

Well, we talked about how rash it was, how disapproving people might be, but at the same time how supportive everyone is. We discussed the responsibilities involved, the losses, the gains, the risks. Was this level-headed? So we let go of what everyone would think was the issue and weighed the situation without the variable. Either route seemed about even. Probably neck and neck. Except, of course, that one would receive judgment, maybe. Ouch.

I got up and told him I'd made my decision, it would be better this way, and the silent ghost, for the first time, was the sound of a bad pull across a violin.

"I haven't heard it yet, huh? I'm still not listening for the right thing."

Okay. So I sat back down, and I tried to be as quiet in every way as I could be. And I heard the birds... summertime, memories. I smiled but knew this wasn't it, we'd already been over where this was leading. Then, I listened to my heart, my real heart, all of it. And first I listened to those parts everyone does, the love ones, the people. But this wasn't it, I already knew, so I suppressed everything that he considered distracting, too. After all, there is more to my heart, to any heart. I asked myself what did I want, my heart, what was it missing, why was it empty, quiet, muted like my ghost. There had already been scissors taken to my covering, the staples ripped out to unveil this quiet heart. I was already exposed, it was just me, no faded facade. And what am I? What do I do, where do I go, what are my undying aspirations, what makes the sound? And I heard a sound, a bit like a rattlesnake, a little like a hyrax. It was Rhianna and T.I. It was like the wind instrument in Shakira music, it was hispanic guitars and languages I don't understand in chants.






"I hear, in my heart, adventure."
And I sat up. I'd ignore any opposition. I said it again, out loud, "My heart wants an adventure," I insisted, overpowering any protest that might be erupting. I picked up my things with a smile and stepped to the stairs, and faced him once more, sure to receive disapproval, but he wasn't silent. He sang an exotic sound, like a sly smile and a cocked eyebrow in a hollow, varying pitch. And he just won't stop. This was what he intended me to hear. It's time for another adventure.

Αγάπη μου, είσαι στην καρδιά μου για πάντα.

I did the Tough Mudder yesterday. With this guy:

Okay, so, we only ran together for about 3 minutes before he owned me.

And I am so sunburnt! Like, annoying sports bra with odd cut-out in the back sunburnt. Ugh. And sore. And torn apart in the kneeses and forearms. It feels awesome. I flew up the stairs all day so far. The music throughout yesterday was awesome, but probably my favorite was the bagpipes that played for the fallen police lieutenant by his squad. They ran, and they were probably the best of the emotions involved. Short anecdote: After going through a few onstacles alongside the men in red t-shirts for their fallen partner (there were probably 50+), heaving either as well-sculpted men or large guys just trying to get by, finally, alone, I was alongside a pair. We were carrying logs up the ski slope, and I said, "I think it's really wonderful, what you guys are doing out here," and one turned to look at me and said, "You know, it's so hard today. I haven't stopped thinking about him for a minute yet."

There were a lot of very memorable incidents, but I'd like to note that the day fully restored my confidence in running as the all-time best sport ever. It's emotional, it's mental, it develops confidence and sense of achievement, but most of all, the fundamentals have always supported comradery. And this run, which was all about being tough and doing tough things and proving yourself, really shifted when we got there, and became all about toughing it together. People were already encouraging each other up the first hill, already going back for teammates. As I crawled through the snow with strangers on either side of me, I picked up exhausted handfuls and sprinkled them on their backs, rubbed their arms with the melting ice. And they did it back. Men heaved me over 12ft walls and after I established myself as one of the most badass women in the first water obstacle, I WENT BACK TO HELP A HUGE BLACK MAN. Teamwork. It's gorgeous. Oh and this guy caught me from sliding all the way down a mud hill-- minimal blood lost.

In other news, I'm baking bread. Oh wait, no I'm not, I don't have ingredients.

lolmgawd

When I worked at a minigolf place, one of my duties was, if I noticed groundhogs, to sprinkle the area with powdered grape drink mix. My boss, Jess, said they didn't like it. I wonder if that true, or if he just wanted to get rid of that powdered drink mix and thought it would be funny to watch.

Finally, some music. I'm not including any Philharmonic, but I'd just like to say that Philharmonic is one of the most beautiful words ever. Also, try being from Philadelphia and typing Philharmonic without a typo.

All grown up and having comp-ed business trips...

So, this weekend I'm at a Gender conference in Roanoke at the stellar Hotel Roanoke Conference Center... and so far it's a pretty bangin' experience. I happen to have the world's most entertaining boss, for starters, so the 7 hour drive wasn't at all bad from the passenger seat, save the need for like, 16 bathroom stops after our excessive Starbucks consumption. We listened to good music, and I got to see the beautiful Blue Ridge Mountains! :) But no pictures, because it was weird from the passenger seat. If I have a good view from outside tomorrow, I'll take something mediocre. We didn't stop to see the Paul Bunyan statue because we couldn't find it.

We got to the hotel around 8, checked me in to the goooorrrgeeeooouusss hotel, found my little (but lovely) room, and I got free cookies! But, I didn't really see myself in a place that I'd be given a credit card number for internet, food, and champagne? Um, my job is pretty cool?

I'm finishing the slideshow for our 9 am presentation, and it's purple. We're pretty psyched about that.

Also, did I mention? AUTUMN AND SHUMAR GO TO WHITE CASTLE! Okay, well, we didn't go to white castle, we just got burgers from sev. And he didn't eat them, just me. Pretend.

So, I'm getting pretty exhausted and don't feel up to glorifying this.

That other love of my life.

Hey, look at that, Scott has a camera:

I once traveled the mediterranean around the ripe age of 17, and for 4 hours, visited the world's stunning city of Debrovnik, Croatia. Whilst roaming the crowded streets, we stopped in a small bakery called Nika, and my group took a while between its larger size and an unfortunate serbo-croatian dispute. So I spent a while sitting at a table, waiting as the local business also poured through, when there came a man to the counter.

And I will never forget his face, his hair, his eyebrows... he was probably about 25 at the time, wore all black and a white waist apron, and he was tall and thin. He ordered in croatian and then turned and looked at me, and it was one of those times you awkwardly make eye contact and then turn your head, except neither of us turned. It was a very long wait, because it was a very busy place, and he paid without looking away from me.

I decided then that he might be the love of my life, and neither of us could say a thing to each other.

He eventually took his order, smiled at me, and carried a bundle of about 30 baguettes up the crooked cobble street. I hurried outside to watch him disappear in the crowd, and my heart broke. I came home and broke up with my silly boyfriend of the time because i realized how i could never even begin to love him like I loved that stranger in a bakery.

A few years later, i was watching television, when I happened about a silly show, in which there was a tall pie maker with just the right skin tone, dressed all in black, with a white waist apron, and the exact same face, same hair but with sun, exact same everything. It was him, except another person with a slightly broader frame. But from then on I was entirely dedicated to the television program on every monday night that enabled me one hour with the love of my life.

Who could guess all the places our feelings take us? Desires for adventure, longing for reality, longing for fantasy, love for family and home, romance and heartbreak... I've been there and back again, always driven by the power of emotion. So here we find ourselves again, or rather I find myself, passionate for a boy not at all what I would have initially been picking in my infinite freedom for man meat selection, but I suppose that's the way I've always worked. People's personalities have always been necessary for their utter beauty to prove true, and I find this skinny, broad smiled goof more perfect by the moment, from his dark hair with widows peak to his metro sexual fashion sense and unique athletic talents. How unfortunate that every day I like him more, though every day is one day longer I've been 5000 miles from him. Oh, bother. :)

I find that, while my life has been through a beautiful reform these past few weeks, waking early, being work efficient, cleaning and cooking and better managing my life and time and happiness, I've also lost my desire to "go out." I am 21 and have not yet legally gone out, and the peak of my whole drinking thing is a glass of wine in bed. I like pretty dresses and tea, not nights and city lights. I cannot pretend otherwise without the most appropriate company. To those that seem offended, there were times when I wanted to go and it wasn't in your cards... so now I suppose the tables have turned, and I'm just not up for it or the lifestyle. Though every Thursday I hear the walk to Blockley and smile a little bit. :)

I'm including in this playlist some Francis Cabrel, my favorite french singer... I especially love Le Petit Gars, my favorite, but it wasn't available to add. I recommend looking it up!

Zu Poland, mit Gott.

How to Grow a Woman From the Ground

An unrelated amusing quote:

"Girls are dumb! Its not what you look like naked that counts -- its the naked."

You have made me a sucker for seersucker, and pleased with corny pastel polos. Where is my head when you put on knit ties? None of this quite makes very much sense, except that I love that I love so many new things!

So pardon me, but this is going to be a very like-y post. And by "like" I mean something else.

You know what really gets me down? When people lie. Like, they do a really great job of convincing you to believe them, and then, suddenly, when you believe them and the time is now, they're letting you down. It's heartbreaking. And all you can do about it is make sure you have enough of the right kind of people around you at the time to help you with the fall. For this, I really am grateful for my family of amazing women, along with Alex Weiss, Kattie Kranich, and Stitch.

I'm bringing the art back into my life. It starts with white backdrops and ends with a sigh. Sometimes people inspire you to share the beauty. When there's so much happy in you that it's spilling over and you don't know what to do with all that beautiful elation dripping from your heart, sometimes art is a good idea, and it is finally one of those times again. I don't care if the products look mediocre or amateur, because we'll know that the looks will be deceiving... there is no way all the love I put into it will show entirely. (Similar to that time I made you tortellini.)

"To my heart I must be true, there's nothing left but me and you. You're the one that I want, the one I need."

I started taking my Greek class, and I'd just like everyone to know... I am pretty awesome. I learned to read in 20 minutes, and write an hour later. I am flying through my homework, learning words for real by heart, and only mildly intimidated by using cases and grammar again. I'm pretty thrilled that this is one of my languages this term. Hopefully french gives me so much mercy. I hope french is anywhere near this fun. I really love what I've gotten into already with Greek... I just take a little time to adjust to my professor's accent!

Also, supposing I manage my time, you know, AT ALL this term, now that I'm not depressed from a broken heart and have some spring time motivation, I have some great plans for my non-homework hours! I will learn my instrument better, in addition to a language. And before you know it, my renaissance woman features will be flourishing. Haha. That was a moment of vanity. No one cares, Autumn.

There's no need to complicate, our time is short, this is our fate, I'm yours.

I really love just nice, acoustic, clean-voiced music. It can be so refreshing to take a vacation from most radio and bathe in Jack Johnson's prowess pond, spend some time on the Outer Dave Matthews Banks, swim with Hootie and the Blowfish, and soak up some sun on the Beach Boys in their acapellas (see below playlist.) It just reminds me of pure, perfect times with the most gentle of kindness, happiness, and good feelings. Like warm sun and fresh cut grass at a concert in the park.

This is possibly the girliest playlist ever:

Today's photos compliments Springtime good feelings!

It's TOMS Shoes barefoot awareness day!

Millions of children in the world do not have foot cover for trips to school, hikes to water, or daily life, increasing risk for injury and infection. Go today, part of the day, or even just a few minutes, barefoot, to experience a life without shoes firsthand, and to help spread awareness of the impact a simple pair of shoes can bring to a child's life.

I don't want these blossoms to ever end!!! I wish I had a non-webcam camera with manual capabilities.

So, I was finally able to register for classes today because it was taking forever to update my cycle status. A tidbit on that from my friend Joel (was probably more hilarious to me at the time):"My economics professor has a thing in his syllabus that's like 'I won't teach anyone who is having financial issues to resolve wth Drexel.' I'm like.. dude, thats 97.5 percent of everyone in this room."


I used sex appeal (daisy dukes and faux ignorance) to get complimentary vehicular service yesterday. I live in a world where I embrace women that use sexual harassment and discrimination to their advantage/ for the amenities, because if there exists conditions where women are actually given a one-up for male stupidity, then men deserve to have it exercised/ taken advantage.

Happy Springtime, enjoy this beautiful day!

p.s.- "tell him that you belong to me"

I'm really glad all this talk about punching infants has subsided.

Every opportunity I miss makes me panic so badly, and I'm not even busy lately. I can only imagine what this term will do to my spirit with every missed chance to see your face.

Springtime outside my window, though no photos are doing it justice...

Stitch and I finally went to get sushi and it was pretty much a blast, because we're pretty much extremely fun and entertaining people. Add exotic fish to the mix and success was unavoidable. I wish I'd been able to get pictures, because his reactions were wonderfully priceless. And to capture those moments in both stills and video, this would have been perfect:

It's a carabiner, and it's a camera, and it's a video camera. And I got 2 on woot yesterday. They weren't as good as this one, though, I'm sure, Mine have the batman logo on them. But sometimes we wish we had a camera and we don't. I figure if it's on your keyring, you'll always be ready.


So, I'm just going to put this out there, that I really would love being a housewife. Every day I cut flowers for my apartment, make tea, sweep my floor, and cook something delightful. I want to make my guests breakfast in the morning, and it takes restraint to not put effort into it. I have gotten out both my iron and sewing machine officially. Where is my husband?

I went to Trader Joe's with a gift card and bought ginger beer, a 4 pack. I wish I'd only bought one. It's kind of gross.

There's something hauntingly beautiful about being able to watch things progress from the beginning, like the hours of a butterfly fresh out of chrysalis fanning its wings dry. I've been able to watch the trees outside my window blossom over the past few days, from the first day when the dark pink buds formed, and the next day when few petals poked out, and in the night, the flowers emerge, like a snowfall that sneaks up and covers the world while you sleep. These flowering trees outside my window before sunrise are painfully gorgeous in their quiet, elegant progression.

Finally, yesterday was wonderfully wonderful in that I was able to help my friend Scott from afar. I'm so glad his trials and tribulations will soon be coming to an end and that he can start enjoying himself without so many worries, now! Bring on the hot foreign girls...

"Rent? I'd rather have a fucking sandwich than pay the rent."

Shakira speaks to me

If there's one thing I'm learning from these boys, it's that I'm learning about boys.

The beautiful weather finally simmered down, and today looks like rain. I've lately been waking up magically around 7:30, then going back to sleep until 8:30... both of these actually too early for me. Must be that 6 hour sleep thing I like. And time zones.

The Prince of Persia movie trailer is each epic, corny, and amusing... I just wish Jake Gyllenhaal didn't share my droopy eye problem when he often just looks like he's in dismay-- how are you supposed to look cinematically badass if you always look in dismay? Regardless... it blows my mind that he's the actor. And the princess in it should be gorgeous but something about the actress herself seems to be off. Otherwise stunning.

So, for the first time, I'm in debt that is not college tuition debt. And I'm really glad I have the sense to know that it's because I've been spending money I don't have. And the reason my paychecks are small is because I work minimum wage, not because of taxes. And my apartment is expensive, but part of me knew it would be. It is not a surprise. My financial situation is not different because Obama is President, I'm not blaming the change on him, I'm taking responsibility for my own screw ups. It really annoys me when people blame Obama for the change in their finances when they're a college student with a part-time job or something. Also, I love Obama, still. He's doing a pretty sweet job.

My latest swoon as far as shoes go: spring time TOMS. TOMS have been my shoe of choice for about 3 years now, and I'm onto my third red pair, in addition to about 5 or 6 other flats and boots. I LOVE TOMS. I reallllly love the Barletta Cordones but they're apparently seasonal. Someone get them for me when they come back out? Anyway, spring time pastel linen yellows and blues?

Yes, please.

Looks like my sushi date is back on? Hosting my non-friend Stitch today in his epic quest to avoid commute. Should be scintillating. I'd like to state that I am one of the best non-friends in the world. I acknowledge and celebrate birthdays of non-friends, let them use my shower, crash at my house, and I later take the heat for it. I can't wait to see what demons he conjures.

Super cute:

Dearest Autumn,

I hereby do cordially invite you to chat with me, on this loveliest of days.

Yours,

Dustin

I realize you are the only person that reads my blog anyway.

Scott might be on Greek tv :) He got interviewed at Agios Nikolaos on Easter midnight... Drexel kids sure do know how to network!

We meet again.

Last year, I got internet in the morning in time to load an escape game. I wore my black tank, and a flowy purple skirt. I was clean, I put my hair up, did my makeup, and stayed home. I put morning glories in my hair, read whatever books we had, collected glass, and everyone magically disappeared. And at night, I had the most beautiful surprise dinner on the observation roof of the research building. They hung moonflowers and morning glories from the rafters, put candles and tables out, and we had dinner with the Arabs and chocolate cakes/brownies with raspberries. There was Abdel's special salad, homemade hummus, pasta salad, shishkabobs... it was amazing. Thank you, beautiful friends. I only wish there were banana leaf and melanga wrapped fantas, pringles, and my own books this year :)

EASTER 2009- We made a wonderful feast for the construction workers, and I wore my "beautiful" pink and blue dress. I made greek salad and heidi made guacamole, and we all made lasagna. We also had barbeque and hot dogs on the grill. Claudio brought a huge box of mars bars variety. I had prepared chocolate bunnies and Easter baskets for Demetrio and Abdel. We sent Abdel on a special scavenger hunt for his. We hit golfballs into the neighboring farms, and the oil workers left smirnoff, fanta, and some other random beer for the house. And it was a good day.

I never finished this post, but thanks, Steve, for being the epic friend I had 8 years ago.

Adios and Vaya con Dios

It's 7am, why am I awake? Because I've been sleeping on the floor.

My parents have been together 30 years and 4 days. They have four daughter, three granddaughters. They've been through 2 trucks, 3 boats, 3 dogs. They were high school sweethearts, have lived in the same town, and 30 years later they have their house to themselves. But they still sometimes do that thing where they can't quite figure out the best way to hold hands and fumble a little bit.

This is a tea plantation. My favorite botanist was raised on a tea plantation in Kenya.

So, Andrew Jackson. He was a pretty cool guy... common man for the common people. And then he went all Hitler on the Native Americans. ftw. Trail of Tears. Just thought I'd remind everybody. I know I have a lot of readers. Furthermore, can we all reflect on Manzanar, and the other Japanese concentration camps? America sure can be gross sometimes.

I have a very exciting week ahead of me socially! In addition to seeing so much family this weekend, I have a skype date on Sunday morning, and two Steves visiting over the week (maybe)! Good thing I cleaned most of my house already so I can host visitors!

It's the one year anniversary of a young couple of high school sweethearts I know. This is significant because over their spring break, they became engaged. When people begin dating older, this is almost frequent. People that start dating around age 28 or 30 often become engaged within 2 years... but when high school sweethearts jump in so quickly, we're skeptical? Why do we feel like we need to prove ourselves to the world with time before being true to our hearts? Okay, many if not most couples don't dive right in because they might not be ready to marry that quickly... but Stitch (unavoidable tag now... great) said it right to me yesterday; "Some people just know what they want." At first I thought "wow" upon hearing their news, but now I am very supportive, and envious of that kind of intensity. Congratulations and Best Wishes, Zach and Chloe! :)

Not even a playlist. :) Ciao!

My first preemptive birthday email came today.

"Take my advice: use an oak. That advice is applicable to both hammock trees, and to making magic wands"

He makes me feel this way, this pure and this sweet, and he picks me up like I'm the nicest thing to ever have in his arms.

Texts from last night are cracking me up lately. I need to take a break.

My daisy dukes got a lot of attention from the internet community! Minimal attention from the real life community. Probably for the best. But on a brighter note, I got sushi yesterday! Just a 12 pack from the store for 5 dollars. It's not that good. I'm just sad I'm not going out today for sushi birthday date. :(

This silk linen sweater will be mine, thanks to bored window shopping going on in Greece.

Let me introduce a character named Steve Politzer-Ahles. I proclaim him bff4lyfe. He said he'd come see me in a little over a week. HE TOTALLY LIED. That's all for this edition of Steve.

Anyway, I understand that I clearly have the world's most breathtaking fashion sense (see jelly shoes, holey sweaters, and typical product (red) t-shirts), but you should know, it hasn't always come to me so easily. I have a fabulous purple dress. I also have fabulous red shoes. I have to stop myself some nights and remind me that there's a thin line between double fabulous and the Red Hat Society on a teenie bopper.

A super cute video that I'd like to make with a fellow dancer. I would be the awkward one, as usual:

I'm miles from where you are. from n'tima simons on Vimeo.

So, I'm going to clean my house today. It's pretty much a disgrace since post-move and me not returning folded clothes to drawers. Anyway, I wish I had a nice straw broom for the task. My parents are coming tomorrow to bring my bed and a rocking chair! And then I'm hosting a friend sometime or two this week, and HOPEFULLY someone on the 10th. Unfortunately, Stitch just convinced me he and I need hammocks. I'll need to figure out where to put a hammock in this apartment. I'm secretly thrilled.

Finally, a playlist! I was going to due a tribute Thursday of flaming gay music for some boys I know, but then I just went on with my life in today's continued scatterbrained fashion:

"Θα γυρίσω."

'I am wearing a shirt and tie and my gorgeous new deerskin oxfords, sprinting through the port and into the wild streets of Piraeus...'

I just realized last night that I want to get married on Bioko, either on a beach by the waterfalls, or overlooking Lago Biao. It can even be down at the water on Biao, I don't care. But I think a mountaintop wedding would be amazing. Realistically, if my lover didn't like this idea, I would understand and go somewhere safer/more accessible.
I also think it's time for a new language! I'm going to have to finish out French here to meet my requirements, but I'd like one of my last free electives to be Greek! Cyrillic alphabet is versatile, phonemic, and challenging. Hello, Rosetta Stone! I think it would be a funny surprise to a friend of mine, and a fun way to rejuvenate my interest in language.

It's time to spill the beans to all my avid readers--- my birthday is this Sunday. As is customary, I will disappear from the world for a bit, ignore all comments pertaining to the occasion, and eat Birthday Flan. But I will also make a small collage right now of things I would like.

To be in an exotic and cinematically charming happy-ending romance. A round-trip flight to Greece (Crete) for about a week, any time before August. A tall, bottomless glass of perfect lemonade.

A reasonable list, right? ;)

MY COMPUTER HAS CAUGHT A HORRIBLE VIRUS! Hopefully my friend Stitch will be able to resurrect it. The brilliant Casey insists wiping the hard drive is the only answer. I have this huge project due Thursday and I've already called in a "no-can-do."

Finally, I have a puppy, and we hang out a lot. He doesn't really have a name, but he's soft and wonderful.

Sunshiney weather? Sunshiney music! I am so ready for a lovely day in a lovely dress!

"Sunshine... on my window,... makes me happy... like I should be..."

"The words 'I love you' become nothing but noise. But that’s why we kiss. To say with our lips what we couldn’t before."

It's raining again... but the rest of this week is supposed to be gorgeous! Time for spring and pastel love! I almost bought one of those moulds to make giant cupcakes this weekend, but I couldn't find a price. I now realize it was $30. Good call on not just buying it anyway.
Because my life apparently revolves around everything being either disgustingly sappy or quaintly beautiful, I found the tumblr fuck yeah kissing pretty wonderful! It sometimes makes you jealous, but mostly you just think HOW FREAKING BEAUTIFUL AND HOW CAN I MAKE THAT BE ME?

On the topic of how obnoxiously into sweet, pretty things I am, I'm doing a really intense run in a month, maybe you've heard of it? The Tough Mudder is approximately 7 miles on a ski mountain, through lakes, and through mud, just doing a ridiculous obstacle course of pain. I thought it would be way more fun than a marathon, though I realize it will be more intense and tiring. I'm just hoping the fun and entertainment part of it will distract me from being too miserable to finish. Especially since a nurse told me this weekend I probably have cracked ribs from my extreme coughing. MY LIFE IS EPIC.

I really want sushi. I'm definitely too poor for it, but I had a sushi date planned with my friend Stitch this week as a joint birthday experience. He's out of town for the rest of the week, so it will have to wait. So will my personal-size cake with lots of icing from Fresh Grocer.

(dav english floral rain boots, yes please. )

I found this pretty version of Lovers in Japan, acoustic. Not quite the upbeat springtime feeling I was going for when I sought it out, but it's still lovely enough to share. A couple covers, a few slow songs, not at all a chipper Little April Showers playlist. Aim and miss, but some reminiscent old stuff for a smile or two.

I HAVE A BLOG

I tend to blurb too much on facebook, so I thought this would be a healthier outlet for my thoughts and things to share.

My friend Scott is in Athens and took this picture of the Acropolis from atop his hotel! It's the thought that counts, nevermind the noise.

My apartment feels super chilly today! But I refuse to take off my fabulous daisy dukes, and I do not have sweatpants to put over top of them. I suppose I'll just stay in this blanket all day.

Easter is coming! I have realized this season that Easter is the most fun holiday! It is colorful and familyful and the commercialism of it doesn't break the bank, just makes the day all the more wonderful! Eggs! I want them! So many colors! Creative chocolates! Rabbits! Colors!

It's rainy but I don't mind, but I do have a song or two on my mind. "Sweet Child o' Mine" covered by Taken By Trees (a lovely band), featured on The Last House on the Left, is gorgeous. Hauntingly. Beautiful.